[ Post Your Own Joke ]

Posted by: GuyMisandric

A high school chemistry teacher was once giving a lecture on organic chemistry and he asked his class to give him an example of something that would be an example of a waste of it. A bright girl raised and her hand and said, "You are and all the other men on this planet." --- Yes I am a guy who hates men...

Posted by: JelliCubbe

How are men like purses? Full of shit and are easily replaced!

Posted by: jennay

Q: How can you tell if a man is "well hung?" A: When you can barely fir your finger between his neck and the noose!

Posted by: idiotinwv

Male Pattern Baldness....need I say more?

Posted by: MegMel

Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women have realized that you don't need to buy the entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Posted by: audra

3 blondes were walking down the road when 1 of them spotted an old oil lamp sticking out of the ground. the shiney object compelled her to pick it up and as she brushed off the gold metal a genie appeared and said that he would grant them each one wish. the first one thought for a second and then said "I am tired of everyone thinking that I am so dumb, I want to be 50% smarter!" *Poof* the Genie made her into a Brunette. the second blonde said "I agree, I want to be taken more seriously, but I still want to be hot, just make me 30% smarter." *poof* the genie made her into a red head. then the last blonde said "well, I like all the attention that I get, I don't want to be smarter make me 75% dumber!" *poof* the Genie made her into a man.

Posted by: Peanutty

What do you call a kind, respectful man who wants to go out with you? Just Friends. =)

Posted by: nicnic

I met an honest man... (haha get it???)

Posted by: spunky

One day a cowboy was riding his horse through the dessert, he found a snake and was gonna shoot it. The snake said,"no please, i'll grant you three wishes if u don't! The cowboy said,"oh, ok." His first wish was he was six ft tall, his second wish was he was built like hulk hogan and his third wish was he was hung like his horse. The snake said, "ok, go home when you wake up in the morning your wishes will be true." So he did. The next day he woke up got out of bed stood up, he was 6ft tall, looked in the mirror, got all excited, pulled down his pants said," oh shoot, i forgot, i was riding my mayer yesterday. lol

Posted by: bunnybaby

A wise man once said, "I don't know, ask a woman."

Posted by: LisaH

What Mean Really Mean: Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass I'm a Romantic = I'm poor I need you" = My hand is tired I am different from all the other guys = I am not circumcised I want a commitment = I'm sick of masturbation You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me I really want to get to know you better = So I can tell my friends about it It's just orange juice, try it = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head he's kinda cute = I want to have sex with her till I am blue I don't know if I like her = She won't sleep with me I miss you so much = I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small I had a wonderful time last night = Who the hell are you o you love me? = I've done something stupid and you might find out Do you 'really' love me? = I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later How much do you love me? = I've done something really stupid and someone's on his/her way to tell you about it now I have something to tell you = Get tested I'll give you a call = I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again I've been thinking a lot = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk I think we should just be friends = You're ugly I've learned a lot from you = Next

Posted by: deceptions

Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.

Posted by: deceptions

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

Posted by: deceptions

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

Posted by: deceptions

Two guys were strolling down the street when one guy exclaimed, "how sad - a dead bird." The other man looked up and said, "where?"

Posted by: deceptions

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they don't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Posted by: deceptions

How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Posted by: deceptions

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

Posted by: deceptions

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.

Posted by: deceptions

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Posted by: deceptions

What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!

Posted by: deceptions

What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.

Posted by: stormxmoon

God was just about done creating the universe. He took adam and eve aside and said that he had two things left in his bag of tricks, one for each of them. the first thing, he said would let the user be able to pee standing up. Immediately adam jumped up and started waving his hand in the air shouting "me of me! Pick me god! I want it!" and so god gave it to him and it was good. Eve watched adam run around and piss his name into the sand. God looked into his bag of tricks again and said "what do we have here? oh yes, multiple orgams..."

Posted by: GinaMarie

A man found a Magic Lamp. The genie asks what he wishes for. The man asks to be irresistible to women, So the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.

Posted by: GinaMarie

There were 3 people on a crashing plane the smartest man, the president and a little girl.There were 2 parachutes. The smart man said "The people who would do the world the most good should take one. Me being the smartest should live". With that he took a bag and jumped. The president looked at the girl and said "You can have the other one," with that the little girl replied "Its okay we can both have one, the smartest man in the world just jumped out w/ my back-pack."

Posted by: GinaMarie

A womans brain cell went into a mans head. the brain cell looked around and the room was empty. "Where is everyone?" she asked. "Down here," a voice replied.

Posted by: Brandon

"Men are like grapes. You have to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

Posted by: GinaMarie

How do you keep your boyfriend from cheating on you? Make him get a vasectomy.

Posted by: Obzgirl

Men....can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em for parts.

Posted by: vetechgirl

Q:Why are Catholic Men like Amtrak trains? A: They never pull out in time!

Posted by: Kara

One day a woman was granted one wish from a genie. She could have anything in the world and she asked to never have to cook or clean again. The genie sat there for a moment, smile and then POOF!!!! She made the woman a man.

Posted by: southerngirl

What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.

Posted by: southerngirl

What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish

Posted by: southerngirl

Why do men want to marry virgins? Because men can't stand criticism.

Posted by: southerngirl

What do you have whan you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.

Posted by: southerngirl

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it

Posted by: southerngirl

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Posted by: southerngirl

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Posted by: southerngirl

What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Posted by: southerngirl

What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? Telling you his real name

Posted by: southerngirl

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.

Posted by: southerngirl

Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men.

Posted by: southerngirl

Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs.

Posted by: Kara

Men are like diapers in that they should be changed often and for the same reasons.

Posted by: Kelli

A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or bronze. Silver, she said. Why not gold?, wondered the man. She replied, Because I want you to come second for once!

Posted by: babygirlm

How many men does it take to do the dishes? I don't know but I will let you know when it happens.

Posted by: buckytat

Men are only on this earth because vibrators can't buy you drinks.

Posted by: Snow

Men And playing Cards. All it takes ladies.... a HEART to love Them. a DIAMOND to marry them a CLUB to beat them and .... a SPADE to burry them.

Posted by: wundersmack

What's a man's idea of cleaning the bathroom? Flushing the toilet.

Posted by: smac

What's a man's idea of helping with the house work? Lifting his feet up so you can vaccumn underneath them