[ Post Your Own Joke ]

Posted by: GinaMarie

A man found a Magic Lamp. The genie asks what he wishes for. The man asks to be irresistible to women, So the genie turned him into a box of chocolates.

Posted by: GinaMarie

There were 3 people on a crashing plane the smartest man, the president and a little girl.There were 2 parachutes. The smart man said "The people who would do the world the most good should take one. Me being the smartest should live". With that he took a bag and jumped. The president looked at the girl and said "You can have the other one," with that the little girl replied "Its okay we can both have one, the smartest man in the world just jumped out w/ my back-pack."

Posted by: GinaMarie

A womans brain cell went into a mans head. the brain cell looked around and the room was empty. "Where is everyone?" she asked. "Down here," a voice replied.

Posted by: Brandon

"Men are like grapes. You have to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

Posted by: GinaMarie

How do you keep your boyfriend from cheating on you? Make him get a vasectomy.

Posted by: Obzgirl

Men....can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em for parts.

Posted by: vetechgirl

Q:Why are Catholic Men like Amtrak trains? A: They never pull out in time!

Posted by: Kara

One day a woman was granted one wish from a genie. She could have anything in the world and she asked to never have to cook or clean again. The genie sat there for a moment, smile and then POOF!!!! She made the woman a man.

Posted by: southerngirl

What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.

Posted by: southerngirl

What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish

Posted by: southerngirl

Why do men want to marry virgins? Because men can't stand criticism.

Posted by: southerngirl

What do you have whan you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.

Posted by: southerngirl

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it

Posted by: southerngirl

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Posted by: southerngirl

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Posted by: southerngirl

What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Posted by: southerngirl

What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? Telling you his real name

Posted by: southerngirl

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.

Posted by: southerngirl

Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men.

Posted by: southerngirl

Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs.

Posted by: Kara

Men are like diapers in that they should be changed often and for the same reasons.

Posted by: Kelli

A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or bronze. Silver, she said. Why not gold?, wondered the man. She replied, Because I want you to come second for once!

Posted by: babygirlm

How many men does it take to do the dishes? I don't know but I will let you know when it happens.

Posted by: buckytat

Men are only on this earth because vibrators can't buy you drinks.

Posted by: Snow

Men And playing Cards. All it takes ladies.... a HEART to love Them. a DIAMOND to marry them a CLUB to beat them and .... a SPADE to burry them.

Posted by: wundersmack

What's a man's idea of cleaning the bathroom? Flushing the toilet.

Posted by: smac

What's a man's idea of helping with the house work? Lifting his feet up so you can vaccumn underneath them

Posted by: kleighn

God made men cause vibrators can't buy drinks.

Posted by: Bren

Men are like commercials, you can't believe a word they say.

Posted by: darkanian

Men are like diapers, always full of poo.

Posted by: barbarany

God spoke to Adam: GOD: Adam - first, the good news! I have given you a brain & a penis. ADAM: Wow, thanks God!! Now... what's the bad news? GOD: You have only enough blood to use one at a time.

Posted by: Bren

God made men first, then he had a better idea.

Posted by: Bren

Men are like a snow storms. You never know when the are coming or how long they'll stay.

Posted by: Tracy

How are husband like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious oders and half the time they don't work.

Posted by: Tracy

How do men define a 50/50 relationship? We cook - they eat, we clean - they dirty, we iron- they wrinkle.

Posted by: Tracy

How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Posted by: Tracy

How do you keep your husband from reading your email? Name the mail folder "Instructions".

Posted by: Tracy

How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Posted by: Tracy

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to brag to about the screwing part.

Posted by: Tracy

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game.

Posted by: Tracy

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

Posted by: Tracy

What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.