I hate men … I hear that phrase a lot … more than I should. But the question is, why do you hate men? It’s easy to say I HATE MEN but the question is, do you really mean it? Do you hate men because they hurt you or did you let them hurt you? Do you really hate men or do you really hate yourself for being in a bad relationship? Don’t get me wrong, there are situations where it is 100% their fault. But in most situations that isn’t the case and that is what I wish to talk to you about today. Almost from the start, I see friend after friend make some common mistakes in relationships.
1) DO NOT CALL HIM! I don’t care how tempting it is, you do not need to call him. If a man wants to talk to you, he will call. If he doesn’t call then move on but under no circumstances should you be calling him. Have some self respect already!
2) DO NOT ASK ABOUT HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND. Under no circumstances should you ever ask him about his ex girlfriends and you should never bring up your ex-boyfriends. It’s immature and can lead to all sorts of problems in your relationship. I mean honestly, do you really need to know if she was a better kisser than you? Also people tend to romanticize the past so if you get him thinking about those good old days then she might be the one he’s calling tomorrow.
3) DON’T BE SO AVAILABLE. It’s great having a boyfriend but if you want to keep him then you’ll have things of your own to do without him. Besides making yourself a better person by being more independent, it will make you appear more mysterious and he’ll want you even more! Seriously … take this advice more than anything else. GET A LIFE!! Go take a class, learn a foreign language, hang out with a friend, go see a movie, do anything … just do something that isn’t with your boyfriend. Like a fine wine, a healthy relationship needs room to breath.
4) HIS WORK = NO GO! Unless you are a full blown psycho, don’t show up at his work for any reason whatsoever and yes, this includes calling him at work. When someone is at work, LEAVE THEM ALONE.
5) DON’T BE A DRAMA QUEEN. I know you may think it’s cute but really it’s not. Don’t be a drama queen in a relationship because in the end all you will get is dysfunctional relationship after dysfunctional relationship. If something upsets you, work it out … don’t drag it out for days and make a big deal out of everything. And whatever you do, don’t get any big ideas about sharing how you feel about him either. Drama queens tend to state their love for a man far to early and then freak out when he doesn’t respond in kind. If you haven’t been dating him seriously for at least 3 months then don’t share any personal feelings with him and that most especially includes I love you.
6) KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. The biggest mistake girls make in a relationship is not knowing what they really want. If YOU don’t know what you want, then how can others give it to you? Think carefully about what you want in a relationship and what you need to make you happy. When you figure out what those things are you will be a lot happier and can actually start down the road of a happy, healthy relationship.
So before you say I HATE MEN next time, stop and remember what I said here today. It’s easy to blame someone else but sometimes we need to look at our own behavior.