What is gaslighting when it comes to relationships?

You seem to hear a lot of people online talking about gaslighting someone. It took me awhile to even figure out what in the world gaslighting even was. So let me explain in simple terms (as someone did for me).

The technical definition is “to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.” But what does that really mean?

Gaslighting is when someone does something, denies it and then calls you crazy for bringing it up.


Case in point, I have a friend who is in a horribly toxic relationship. His girlfriend flew to Philadelphia last month, it’s where she used to live. She said she needed to clean out her old apartment now that the lease was up. He offered to go with her to help but she insisted she was fine and could do it on her own.

While she was there she told him that he spoke with her ex-boyfriend and he came over to see her at her apartment while she was packing up her things. The next day she denied it. Said she was just messing with him. Now she not only denies it didn’t happen she acts like he’s the crazy one if he brings it up like he somehow just made the whole thing up in his head.

This is a clear and blatant act of gaslighting. She does something, denies it and then calls him crazy for bringing it up.

Gaslighting is when another person tries to manipulate your reality. It can also be something like changing passwords and then denied they were ever changed.

When someone wants to screw with your state of mind, that’s not a healthy person.


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